Sunday Conversations With my Grandma: My Funeral

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     As I was talking with my grandma she was telling me about a funeral she had gone to. She was so upset about how long it lasted she decided she was going to plan her own.
Grandma: It was just ridiculous all that stuff people huaping and hollering all over that poor woman. Did they tell her all that stuff when she was living.
Me: I think some of them did.
Grandma: Well I don't care. I don't want yall doing all that at my funeral and it's going to be by invitation only!
Me: ....okay and how is that going to work?
Grandma: I'm going to pass them out now and then if anyone walks in that's not supposed to be there I'm going to sit up in my coffin and tell them to leave. 
Me: What? Why?
Grandma: And I'm gone do it to anyone crying over me who didn't treat me right while I was alive.
Me: ....okay.
Grandma: And I have a list of people who can talk at my funeral too but not to long. Don't worry you made it.
     All I'm thinking to myself at this point is Who is going to be checking invitations at the door? 
I realize that her funeral will probably be one of the worst moments of my families life but didn't she just give us something to smile about!

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